Another typical evening at dance
Tuesday, January 22, 2013
Tuesday, January 15, 2013
Let God Use....
Sometimes I resist blogging because there are so many critics out there, so quick to tell me I'm "too emotional" and to "save it" for a personal journal. I've been chastised more times than I can count for wearing my heart on my sleeve or for being who I say I am.
I have a ton of faults. But one of my strengths (and yes, I have had to deliberately choose to recognize it as a strength) is that I am who I say I am. I am likely the most "un-fake" female on the planet. If I like you, you know it. If I don't like you, you know it. I love Jesus and evvvvvverybody knows it. I am who I am - sometimes it works well for me, and often it does not.
But this is me being real about something that really matters to me - the non-profit we founded in 2010, which has been such a blessing to see thrive, grow and change lives one at a time. I could fill pages with all the awesome things Royal Stage has done - from teaching therapeutic acting classes to rescued child prostitutes to producing professional-caliber shows which allow low-income families to experience live theatre for free - it's just been an incredible journey.
The wonderfulness is what makes the constant prayer on my heart so difficult - is this a ministry I am meant to lead, and if so, how can it work well with my life that has become so busy and so complex with a marriage, two kids, a writing career and some sort of social life?
So I ask you to please pray for me if you read this. I have no doubt Royal Stage is meant to exist. We are completely unique in what we do, and God has made the process far too simple and joyful to be outside of His will. But as director, I find myself too exhausted and too emotionally invested to go day-to-day the way I am. Selfishly, I want to experience His joy too! Selfishly, I want to be able to do this for my entire life without feeling a hundred-pound emotional weight upon my shoulders.
And hopefully, unselfishly, I want people to come alongside and help - experience the amazing side of Royal Stage that I have. The reason I love it. The reason I do it. The reason God orchestrates it and compels it to exist.
Please do not take this as ungrateful if you've helped us get this far. I have an AMAZING team of people who donate financially, pray faithfully and serve to meet so many needs within our group. This blog post is a reflection of the next level in which we need to reach in order to grow, financially & physically stabilize and thrive.
I ask you to please prayerfully consider the following:
But I do ask you to please consider. There IS a way for you to help. Truly. I cannot think of a single person I know who cannot do something that will matter big time in the end.
Here is a form to help you.
Thank you so so much for reading this. I apologize for the heavy tone - sometimes it's just difficult for a soul to be light on its feet while at a fork in the road.
I have a ton of faults. But one of my strengths (and yes, I have had to deliberately choose to recognize it as a strength) is that I am who I say I am. I am likely the most "un-fake" female on the planet. If I like you, you know it. If I don't like you, you know it. I love Jesus and evvvvvverybody knows it. I am who I am - sometimes it works well for me, and often it does not.
But this is me being real about something that really matters to me - the non-profit we founded in 2010, which has been such a blessing to see thrive, grow and change lives one at a time. I could fill pages with all the awesome things Royal Stage has done - from teaching therapeutic acting classes to rescued child prostitutes to producing professional-caliber shows which allow low-income families to experience live theatre for free - it's just been an incredible journey.
The wonderfulness is what makes the constant prayer on my heart so difficult - is this a ministry I am meant to lead, and if so, how can it work well with my life that has become so busy and so complex with a marriage, two kids, a writing career and some sort of social life?
So I ask you to please pray for me if you read this. I have no doubt Royal Stage is meant to exist. We are completely unique in what we do, and God has made the process far too simple and joyful to be outside of His will. But as director, I find myself too exhausted and too emotionally invested to go day-to-day the way I am. Selfishly, I want to experience His joy too! Selfishly, I want to be able to do this for my entire life without feeling a hundred-pound emotional weight upon my shoulders.
And hopefully, unselfishly, I want people to come alongside and help - experience the amazing side of Royal Stage that I have. The reason I love it. The reason I do it. The reason God orchestrates it and compels it to exist.
Please do not take this as ungrateful if you've helped us get this far. I have an AMAZING team of people who donate financially, pray faithfully and serve to meet so many needs within our group. This blog post is a reflection of the next level in which we need to reach in order to grow, financially & physically stabilize and thrive.
I ask you to please prayerfully consider the following:
- do you know someone who would be interested in attending one of our kids' classes? (our teen/adult classes are awesome - we need more children!)
- do you have time to help with promotions or fundraising?
- do you have a calling on your heart to help support Royal Stage, regardless of where you live?
But I do ask you to please consider. There IS a way for you to help. Truly. I cannot think of a single person I know who cannot do something that will matter big time in the end.
Here is a form to help you.
Thank you so so much for reading this. I apologize for the heavy tone - sometimes it's just difficult for a soul to be light on its feet while at a fork in the road.
Thursday, January 3, 2013
The Pink of Perfection
Do I dare say my life is absolutely perfect? I mean, obviously it isn't, as I have a projectile vomiting daughter right now, and I can feel myself getting sick as well, but nonetheless today struck me as a day of total gratefulness.
- Kids are healthy (I mean overall. The flu is killing us right now!)
- Frank loves his new job, which he's already been at for two months!
- Royal Stage is going amazing
- So many wonderful people remembered Royal Stage during the holidays and donated
- My writing is going well - both commercially to pay bills, and personally toward publishing
- Our house is clean(ish)
- Depression/anxiety has been non-existent
- We have really, truly wonderful friends
- Frank's family is absolutely amazing with the kids. So blessed to have them live nearby.
- Ditto to his sister, niece, aunts, etc. I am so blessed to have children growing up in a happy extended family.
- We've finally found a church we ALL love. It took two years and quite the journey, but we have truly found "home" I think.
- We are warm, our fridge is full, our house is safe, our cars are running.
Wednesday, January 2, 2013
U-Turn Ministry
Day 2 of determining to love others more. The kids' daycare told me she needed new backup clothes for them (the little one grows quickly and the bigger one relaxes his bladder a bit too much at naptime if you know what I mean), and so I stopped work early to swing by Wal Mart.
(Editor's note: Wal Mart has really cute separates for babies/kids, and they are cheap. Don't judge me. Everyone compliments me on Charlotte's outfits and they are usually under $10. I'm a winner.)
On my way into the parking lot, I saw a homeless man holding up a sign, but I didn't really get a chance to read it. It's not unusual to see a homeless person stationed on a few of the corners around here, so it wasn't very surprising. And I knew I had just found Day 2 goal.
I got the kids' clothes and some other things we needed very quickly, hoping that I would get back before he was gone. A lot of times they will wander away if they aren't getting any help, or more often the police chase them away.
I went into the grocery section and added warm fried chicken, bagel chips, a deli sandwich, some breakfast bars and some juice and water to my cart and got in line.
The line took FOR EV ER. The cashier didn't know how to ring anything up. She was manually typing in almost every item after she couldn't get anything to scan. Then, I realized I had forgotten my debit card in my car, and since the lines were moving like molasses I decided to just write a check. Of course, she didn't know how to do that correctly on the first try and.....it was just a long process from the back of the line to the exit door.
Fortunately, suspect was still there. And I couldn't get to him. He was on the wrong side of the road barrier, so I had to drive 3 blocks out of the way to wait for the next legal U-turn. Since it was a busy intersection, I figured I could park my car in the shopping center across from where he was at, and then walk the groceries over to him.
Park my car. Realize that the lot I am in does not connect to the other one, which has a wrought iron fence around it. Get back in the car. Make another U-turn in the other direction, and then take a side street as an attempt to get back toward him again. Now I'm on the wrong side of the street again, and the light is green so I cannot stop.
Drive the three blocks up again, U around again, and pray. Okay God, if you want me to bless this person today, make it happen.
It was the first time in my life I ever prayed for a red light during a California rush hour.
The light turned red and my car stopped dead in front of him. Turns out he wasn't a homeless man at all, but a guy probably around 18 years old with war paint on his face. He was traveling to Texas, and had run out of money so was looking for help to keep going.
At first I was a little disappointed it wasn't a more destitute fellow (note to self: get contact lens prescription checked!), but rather likely a spoiled rich kid who decided to do it on his own and not get help from a great family he probably has.
But then I really checked myself. I had written this note to go with the food, and the words didn't really seem to make sense to me at the time.
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They seemed geared toward someone younger than an old homeless man. Like someone who may be searching for value in life more than handouts.
Anyway, he took the food very excitedly and we had a rushed conversation about where he was headed until the light turned green.
And then I was so flustered and turned around from all those turns and the excitement of trying to get the bags of groceries to this kid, that I got completely lost trying to get to the kids' daycare.
Great. Day 2 - almost never saw my kids again. Sheesh.
(Editor's note: Wal Mart has really cute separates for babies/kids, and they are cheap. Don't judge me. Everyone compliments me on Charlotte's outfits and they are usually under $10. I'm a winner.)
On my way into the parking lot, I saw a homeless man holding up a sign, but I didn't really get a chance to read it. It's not unusual to see a homeless person stationed on a few of the corners around here, so it wasn't very surprising. And I knew I had just found Day 2 goal.
I got the kids' clothes and some other things we needed very quickly, hoping that I would get back before he was gone. A lot of times they will wander away if they aren't getting any help, or more often the police chase them away.
I went into the grocery section and added warm fried chicken, bagel chips, a deli sandwich, some breakfast bars and some juice and water to my cart and got in line.
The line took FOR EV ER. The cashier didn't know how to ring anything up. She was manually typing in almost every item after she couldn't get anything to scan. Then, I realized I had forgotten my debit card in my car, and since the lines were moving like molasses I decided to just write a check. Of course, she didn't know how to do that correctly on the first try and.....it was just a long process from the back of the line to the exit door.
Fortunately, suspect was still there. And I couldn't get to him. He was on the wrong side of the road barrier, so I had to drive 3 blocks out of the way to wait for the next legal U-turn. Since it was a busy intersection, I figured I could park my car in the shopping center across from where he was at, and then walk the groceries over to him.
Park my car. Realize that the lot I am in does not connect to the other one, which has a wrought iron fence around it. Get back in the car. Make another U-turn in the other direction, and then take a side street as an attempt to get back toward him again. Now I'm on the wrong side of the street again, and the light is green so I cannot stop.
Drive the three blocks up again, U around again, and pray. Okay God, if you want me to bless this person today, make it happen.
It was the first time in my life I ever prayed for a red light during a California rush hour.
The light turned red and my car stopped dead in front of him. Turns out he wasn't a homeless man at all, but a guy probably around 18 years old with war paint on his face. He was traveling to Texas, and had run out of money so was looking for help to keep going.
At first I was a little disappointed it wasn't a more destitute fellow (note to self: get contact lens prescription checked!), but rather likely a spoiled rich kid who decided to do it on his own and not get help from a great family he probably has.
But then I really checked myself. I had written this note to go with the food, and the words didn't really seem to make sense to me at the time.
.JPG)
They seemed geared toward someone younger than an old homeless man. Like someone who may be searching for value in life more than handouts.
Anyway, he took the food very excitedly and we had a rushed conversation about where he was headed until the light turned green.
And then I was so flustered and turned around from all those turns and the excitement of trying to get the bags of groceries to this kid, that I got completely lost trying to get to the kids' daycare.
Great. Day 2 - almost never saw my kids again. Sheesh.
Tuesday, January 1, 2013
New Year, Happy Life
Ever since I wrote the Project 365 script many moons ago, I've wanted to complete a real life Project 365. Then, life got in the way. I did great for awhile, but then my ambition started to taper off. Then, I started hating the name because it was also the name of some photography social networking thing, and it just didn't seem as special.
But the concept still is, and I know God placed it upon my heart to do. And I can really not complain about being too busy, because if we are too busy to help, love and show Christ to one another - what does everything else count for?
So the rules:
1) I will share God's love with someone, somehow once per day
2) I will record the results here in this blog
3) I will not give myself a hard time if I skip a day - it's a good thing, and I won't make it negative.
4) I will get it published. Yes, dang it. I will.
Of course, I spent the final hours of New Year's Eve rather dreading 2013 because not only had I had an absolutely fantastic 2012, but I was nervous to start. How stupid as a ministry founder and outgoing person to be afraid to share Christ's love - but I am all the time. I am grateful that fear rarely stops me from doing things though, so here we go.
Day 1, we all went to Target for storage bins because our Christmas decorations magically no longer fit in the bin we have. I don't know why, but something weird happened and I had a Target gift card so decided to go on an organizational spree to get the entire house placed into bins, baskets and shelving.
I told Frank on the way over that I am restarting the yet to be named love project, and then stepped out of the car to see a woman approaching us. She looked disheveled, exhausted and incredibly hung over and said her friend was supposed to pick her up from work, never showed up, and could she have $6.00 for the bus.
Woo hoo! Could she ever! I love that God brought Project #1 to me as conveniently as pizza delivery. And wait, it really costs $6 to ride the bus now? I am old.....
She was so grateful, and told us she had been asking people for awhile and no one had helped her. And off she went to the bus stop.
I should have said more. I told her Happy New Year. What about God loves you? Jesus died for you? I did this because God told me to?
Sigh.
Then, I realized that I forgot the gift card at home and we couldn't buy anything anyway.
Grateful it wasn't a wasted trip.
I'll do better tomorrow. Baby steps. It's been awhile.
But the concept still is, and I know God placed it upon my heart to do. And I can really not complain about being too busy, because if we are too busy to help, love and show Christ to one another - what does everything else count for?
So the rules:
1) I will share God's love with someone, somehow once per day
2) I will record the results here in this blog
3) I will not give myself a hard time if I skip a day - it's a good thing, and I won't make it negative.
4) I will get it published. Yes, dang it. I will.
Of course, I spent the final hours of New Year's Eve rather dreading 2013 because not only had I had an absolutely fantastic 2012, but I was nervous to start. How stupid as a ministry founder and outgoing person to be afraid to share Christ's love - but I am all the time. I am grateful that fear rarely stops me from doing things though, so here we go.
Day 1, we all went to Target for storage bins because our Christmas decorations magically no longer fit in the bin we have. I don't know why, but something weird happened and I had a Target gift card so decided to go on an organizational spree to get the entire house placed into bins, baskets and shelving.
I told Frank on the way over that I am restarting the yet to be named love project, and then stepped out of the car to see a woman approaching us. She looked disheveled, exhausted and incredibly hung over and said her friend was supposed to pick her up from work, never showed up, and could she have $6.00 for the bus.
Woo hoo! Could she ever! I love that God brought Project #1 to me as conveniently as pizza delivery. And wait, it really costs $6 to ride the bus now? I am old.....
She was so grateful, and told us she had been asking people for awhile and no one had helped her. And off she went to the bus stop.
I should have said more. I told her Happy New Year. What about God loves you? Jesus died for you? I did this because God told me to?
Sigh.
Then, I realized that I forgot the gift card at home and we couldn't buy anything anyway.
Grateful it wasn't a wasted trip.
I'll do better tomorrow. Baby steps. It's been awhile.
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