Tammy's Current First World Problems (Rated on a scale of 1 to 5 sad, tiny violins)
1) Birthday Cake Oreos
Okay Nabisco, seriously WHAT the heck?! Sorry, forgive my rudeness. Happy 100th birthday, Oreo! Now, you stupid jerk of a cookie company - a special flavor of Oreos that happens to be the flavor of my favorite food in the world worked into my favorite cookie in the world? That is just wrong - and information that would've been helpful to me BEFORE I made it a personal goal to lose weight.
Rating: TOTALLY 5 sad, tiny violins. Maybe more. I can tell you right now that this is my will power's kryptonite. As I wrote on a friend's facebook..."I have died and gone to heaven. And Jesus is surrounded by Oreos." - so if anyone wants to join me on the couch for some birthday cake Oreos and the latest episode of Dance Moms, feel free. Wear sweats, leggings or other pants paraphernalia that allows for an expandable waistline. I know I'll hafta!
2) Disneyland's Leap Year Party
If you haven't heard, Disneyland is staying open for an ENTIRE DAY. Or, as the commercial on their website so cruelly points out - Disneyland is staying open for 24 hours, 1440 minutes, 86,400 seconds of pure Disney goodness! And yes, east coast friends, Disney World is as well. I feel like my BFF Disneyland and I have drifted so majorly much since a) I did not know about this until this week, and b) because I am so not going!
Rating: 4 out of 5 sad, tiny violins. Because while the Oreos are not out of my budget right now, a trip to Disneyland so is. And, it does help to know that this event will in turn make hundreds of minimum-wage high school and college students miserable as they push through a 24-hour mouse fest with undoubtedly pressing crowds and a rapidly dwindling supply of Churros.
But still. Poop.
3) Hobby Lobby
Hobby Lobby, I freaking hate you. No, I love you. No, I hate you. I first encountered you in Arkansas and opened my big mouth to the high heavens about how this would be a GREAT store to have in California. "Come on, Hobby Lobby! Move into town and kick overpriced Michaels' butt!" I cried.
Now, there is a Hobby Lobby in Roseville - a hop, skip and a freeway merge away from us. I wished a pure wish, and the crafting Gods delivered. This place is stinking awesome - it's affordable, the selection is humongous, and I have crafted my way through Christmas, Valentine's Day, a couple of birthdays and just random Tuesday afternoons with Sam.
But, as I once learned after accidentally spending $85 at Dollar Tree, things that are affordable and fun aren't so inexpensive when you can't help but go wild. And as a bonus in Hobby Lobby's case, I have been consumed by crafting dreams and even waking up and checking my Pinterest at 3am when I'm struck with an idea. Facebook who?
So, Hobby Lobby has been stealing my time, money and healthy sleep schedule. But not my joy. No friends, never my joy. Frank is grinning and bearing through the random globs of dried glue gun and button/sequin carnage throughout our house as I live out my Martha dreams.
Rating: 2 sad, tiny violins. It's actually been a great outlet for me when my other great outlets (dance, writing, friendships) have been stressing me out. But, I do have SOME self control, and I do not own a credit card (Thank you Jesus!!!) So Hobby Lobby has left me with some stinging lust and jealousy, but I'm getting through.
4) My children
They are precious, polite, joyful, adorable and love to cuddle. They also wake up at 5am. Or, they go for what I like to call the Warta Offspring Slumber Remix - go down at 8, wake up at midnight, go back to bed, wake up at 3, then wake up for real by 6:15.
I love my kids, but come on guys! I remember the days when we used to sit around Sam's incubator in the NICU and just wait with great anticipation and excitement for his eyes to pop open so we could interact and bond. Now the kid is so dang bonded to me that he cries at the bathroom door if I refuse to let him watch me pee. So, needless to say, I am not too thrilled on occasion to see him at 3am.
And Charlotte, you are still too young and cute for me to pin anything on you other than the fact your sleepwalking roommate with his shouting-volume-only voice is disturbing your peaceful baby slumber. But I'm watching you, girlfriend.
Rating: No sad, tiny violins. Because really, who could be upset at this?
5) Attempts to Improve Things That Worked Just Fine
Facebook, already installed Apps, freeways clogged with traffic congestion due to an "expansion project", the new McChicken bites at McDonalds, and the invention of Captchas.
Rating: Can I just gather together multiple sad, tiny violins to form one giant, super violin? And then throw it?Thank you for reading my first world problems list. And really, in all sincerity,it's best to stop and take into consideration what and who is truly valuable in one's life. There is always something to be thankful for. “Better a handful with quietness than both hands full, together with toil and grasping for the wind.” (Ecclesiastes 4:6)
Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication, with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God.” (Philippians 4:6)
“And whatever you do in word or deed, do all in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through Him.” (Colossians 3:17)
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