Twenty Nine Things

Twenty Nine Lessons I've Learned From My 20s....

1) As cliche as it sounds, never pass up an opportunity to let someone know how much they mean to you. It's important.

2) Travel as much as you can - I went to 10 different countries in the past decade, and I am so glad. I love having friends in Europe, Africa and Asia - and I had experiences in those places I never want to forget.

3) Don't waste time being concerned what other people think about you. Stay on the straight and narrow, and know the rest is out of your control.

4) Spend lots of time being concerned with what God wants from you. He is totally in control.

5) Be nice to your parents.

6) Savor every moment your baby is a baby. It goes by very fast and before you know it, he's a non-stop, cuddle-resistant toddler. Take advantage of every opportunity to keep up with your toddler. Climb the jungle gym, read stories, sing songs - a day has never been more well spent.

7) Be passionate in your marriage. Go on dates, flirt, and act like crazy people once in awhile. And laugh a lot.

8) Go to college. I am so glad I got that stupid piece of paper - it opens doors and the four (er, five...) years go by quickly.

9) Dance. Your. Guts. Out.

10) Know who your true friends are.

11) Don't let anyone intimidate you. Respectfully show them you are very smart and brave.

12) Keep your mouth shut.

13) Find a few people in your life that will never expect you to keep your mouth shut, and are completely okay with that.

14) When your thoughts keep you awake, thank God for everything you have until you fall asleep.

15) Don't feel guilty about getting in your pajamas and curling up in bed with a book or your journal in the afternoon....especially if it's raining.

16) Love as unconditionally as you can. Then further reduce your conditions and love again.

17) Spend time pouring into the lives of those younger than you. You'll be surprised at how much you'll desire holding yourself accountable and the way they'll indirectly guide you.

18) Disneyland is never a waste of money.

19) Find three places in the world you feel totally free and at peace (mine = sitting on an ocean-view balcony in Kauai, cloud watching in Santa Clara, driving through the city with my favorite music playing).

20) Stick close to someone you admire. But never lose sight of who you are.

21) Realize when to let go, and forgive yourself for doing so.

22) Accept you are 100%, perfectly loved by God. He adores you, He cherishes you...soak that in.

23) If you haven't used it in a year or more, then give it away or throw it away.

24) Pursue your dreams. You CAN achieve them (unless you want to be America's Next Top Model or something...that prob won't happen)...

25) Don't ever outwardly assume someone's political stance.

26) If you are writing an email in regards to a friendship, relationship, confrontation, complaint, or anything else that involves someone's heart - save it to your drafts and wait 24 hours to send it.

27) Don't send the email. Meet for coffee. It may be uncool, but face-to-face is always best.

28) But don't actually drink coffee. Ew. And if you must, don't go to Starbucks - support local business.

29) Never turn down dessert.

30.....Well, the old people had it right. Life goes by insanely fast. Live every second to its fullest, until your entire life is just completely worn out for God. Then you'll never have to look back <3

Dream and Jump

So I'm not a fan of my birthday. Most people know this, and so with it coming up this week, I wished for the weekend before to be a simple, quiet weekend with a lot of pink. I don't think I really shared this with anyone, and the weekend was far from quiet. But look what Becky did during the 24 hrs we were both in the bay area!

Man do I love pink on my bday (or er, 4 days before....)




Me and sissy :) ......

My mom even made a PINK cake - devil's food with coffee frosting - my fave :)
I was actually quite thrilled with the cake - it was the numbers on it I did not
want to endorse, hence the dirty look. ....


So my pink wish was answered. Thanks God :)

I show you these photos to illustrate that God really does care about the little things - and now I am counting on Him caring about the big things....well, probably not big at all in the grand scheme of things, but big to ME.

Royal Stage auditions are TO-MORR-OW. Yes, ladies and gentlemen, my 5-year plan for a creative arts non-profit has warped into 5 months, and now suddenly sha-bam we have 50 people signed up to dance/act for us and be cast in our first two outreach productions.

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! (excited!)

I know we won't actually get 50, it will be more like 30....but I am still beyond excited that even over 50 showed interest, and I can't wait to see what God does. I am trying to overcome my human failings of nerves, worries and intimidations and just jump into tomorrow night worshipping and having fun.

I had coffee with a dear friend/mentor I have known since high school, and he gave me some really tough and encouraging words about straightening up, focusing on God, and being above and beyond what people expect of me. He loved Cinderella and said that this new organization is going to be a big deal. HE is a big deal in the professional world, so that meant a lot to me. And made me want to work hard on making my Jesus a big deal.

So, please pray for us! And stay tuned for tomorrow.....I might have a dance vid or something :)

Please bless the Royal Stage God, please, please, please, PLEASE. Even if I never own another pink thing again. That's how important this is.

Thank you :)

Cleaning House and Moving On

God taught me something today. Now take caution when reading this, because I am actually going to pay myself a compliment - which rarely happens.

I went to see Artbeat 2010 tonight. It is a summer variety show put on by the church we attended FOR-EV-ER. I founded it in 2005 and tonight was their first time doing it without us. Which is cool. I fully trusted the people who took it over.

It was weird going back there after almost 3 months away, and it was pretty much exactly as I expected. Everyone was super nice to us - lots of hugs, great words of encouragement, a total church family that we love and cherish. And the pastor felt forced to come over and hug us, which I wish he had just not done....and his wife fully snubbed us (but talked to Sam. Ha!)

But here's what happened that was weird....I didn't feel any pain. I just felt a confident, perfect love for everyone in the room, including the two people there who positively can't stand me.

I told Frank that I think God has given me a gift of being able to forgive people fully. Seriously, I cannot think of a single person in my life I've known (except convicted felons), who I wouldn't let back into my life and be their friend. And really, that's a downfall a lot of the time. But...it can also be a chance to really see people as God sees them....and then be able to love them and pray for them. I am glad that I am good at forgiving. It isn't all a bad thing.

But...getting used to the fact people will drop you from their life with no explanation whatsoever and never forgive you sometimes....that lesson is a little harder to master.

Ah well. Life goes on.

Because So Many Still Seem To Want Me To Make A Statement....

Someone loaned me a John Piper book a few months back, and I've been hooked ever since. I read his daily blog (only the entries that do not make my head explode because he's THAT intelligent and grounded...), and one posted the other day really broke through to me.

In reading something completely different and irrelevant, I finally found a visual that has captured my summer: a spiritual midway.

When you go to a carnival or fair, you undoubtedly walk down the center of the midway with various vendors advertising their goodies, voices literally shouting at you from all directions - win this teddy bear, let me guess your weight, step right up and try your luck.....it can be sort of overwhelming.

Disneyland really captured this well with one of my new favorite rides there - Toy Story Midway Mania. You sit in a car and things jump out at you - you shoot at them as frantically and furiously as you can, and then before you even have a chance to think, the car swoops you away to a completely different scene where different things come at you through your 3D glasses, and you frantically and furiously shoot them away again.

It's loads of fun, because it's adorable and over in less than five minutes.

But a spiritual midway can be much more daring, much more daunting, and represent a lot more loss if you continue to be frantic and furious.

It's been a summer of tremendous blessings, growth, fear and hurt. And yes, it is possible to be indescribably happy and peaceful while still feeling more than a bit wounded and terrified. But unfortunately due to my past and the way I am wired, I tend to jump more frequently to the latter.....which brings me back to John Piper's teaching last week.....which is helping me get through this time in the midway full of its glitz and deception - helping me to zero in on the genuine.

John Piper's 6 D's

Delight in You as the greatest treasure of my heart.
Delight in the Lord and he will give you the desires of your heart. (Psalm 37:4)

I lost a lot of what I considered to be my "greatest treasures" this summer. My church, one of my very best friends, my ability to excel at my writing jobs, a trip to New York I was hell-bent to go on...much of this loss came out of my decision to walk away - others were not my choice in the least...but in ALL circumstances I find that when I CHOOSE TO DELIGHT IN HIM, He reveals to me genuine treasures - far beyond what I would have hoped for myself....a precious family, remarkable friends, loving and constant mentors, a whole new ministry opportunity, and a never-changing Heavenly Father.

Desire to know you, be with you, and seek your kingdom above all else.
Delight in the Lord and he will give you the desires of your heart. (Psalm 37:4)

What were my desires? Spending hours in the company of an individual who could not contain her gossiping tongue, and unleashed mine plenty of times as well? Being so overworked and emotionally exhausted that I was missing out on one of the most beautiful years of my son's life? Sacrificing a lot of time and energy for something that was no longer making me happy? What a summer that would've been! Thank you, God, that you quelched it all in June. When we choose to delight in the Lord, we may lose things we thought we desired, but He is sure to replace those longings with better desires that make us healthy, wise, and peaceful.

Discernment that comes from a renewed mind that I might know your will.
But solid food is for the mature, for those who have their powers of discernment trained by constant practice to distinguish good from evil. (Hebrews 5:14)

I am working really, really hard on this. I come from a religious background filled with a whole buffet line of ideals, beliefs, superstitions and a few outright lies. I get ensnared very easily. God is lovingly reminding me daily to stop, discern, and allow myself to be renewed and remember truth, and how good it is.

Desperation because when I stop feeling my need for you I tend to wander.
Before I was afflicted I went astray, but now I keep your word. (Psalm 119:67)

My life is so cozy. An air conditioned home, plenty of food, friends, family, and facebook. Oh the facebooking. It is hard to be desperate for God sometimes. But every single time that desperation leaves me....I wander off and find myself not nearly as satisfied with life. This is when fear comes in, when panic and depression strike...but when I am holding my Father's hand, it all melts away. Awesome :)

Discipline to plan for what I discern as your will.

Look carefully then how you walk, not as unwise but as wise, making the best use of the time, because the days are evil. (Ephesians 5:15-16)

I am keeping my mouth shut, I am keeping my mouth shut, I am keeping my mouth shut. I am focusing on God, the people who matter, the people who love me, the life I love to live, and I am keeping my mouth shut.....

Diligence to do your will with all my heart.

You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your might. (Deuteronomy 6:5)

I love you so much, God. I am such a mess. Thank you for loving all of me, no matter what my state.

So if you are from my past, my present, or intend to be in my future, next time my name is mentioned in conversation, be sure to mention that Tam loves her 6 D's, and that life is exactly how it should be. Which means it's fantastic - because you can't really top "how it should be." Because we all should be trusting God <3

Why I'm Better Than You....

....oh wait. I'm not.

That is an excellent reminder in the midst of the whole Prop 8 issue currently enjoying a resurrection here in California. I'm so sick of hearing about it, so sick of trying to pick a side. So, what I've come to is simple:

We are called to love. Point blank, that is what Jesus commanded us to do. Just because the gay lifestyle may make you feel icky for whatever reason, does not give you the right to make gay people feel icky in return. Religious beliefs have nothing to do with basic civil rights. If we start to mix those two up....well....it just seems to me that a lot of people are working their panties into a wad over something that really doesn't make that much of a difference in the grand scheme of things. I know a lot of people will tell me that now that I HAVE A CHILD he will GO TO SCHOOL and be INDOCTRINATED into GAY PRIDE etc., to which I say.....if you are spending so little time instilling into your children your value system, beliefs, and personal heart for God that going to school will sway them so powerfully in the battle between right and wrong....
....then you need to spend more time with your kids.

So stop sending me your "Vote in the name of God!" emails. God loves the Asia SF dancer as much as he loves you. Christ came to save the sinners, and we all fall under that job description - whether we are a drag queen, liar, bigot, workaholic, alcoholic, facebookaholic.....

So please stop including me in your view that somehow stripping people of their civil rights will win them over for the Lord.

I rarely get fired up like this on my blog, so please forgive me....but then again....apparently I am reading a different bible than a lot of people I know.

I guess I picked a side after all. I picked God's side. Love.