1. Insurance policies for non profits
I just received an email with the updated Royal Stage insurance policy I have to review before the new year. Included was something called Nuclear Energy Liability, and another thing called Cyber Extortion. Now clearly, I can't divulge much information related to our nuclear energy program at Royal Stage (it's classified. You heard nothing).
But cyber extortion? What is that?
Like, if someone leaves us a mean comment on Facebook, our insurance covers our emotional pain and suffering? No, I'm pretty sure that's covered under the next section - our included Mental Anguish Endorsement.
Maybe cyber extortion is if we don't teach dance well enough, we will be bullied into sending FarmVille goods or Candy Crush lives over to the terrorists as retribution?
I don't know. I just sign the forms.....
2. How I purchased stolen goods on Amazon
One of my greatest joys in life recently was a re-discovered, unused Amazon gift card. Suddenly, riches!
I purchased a cute sweater for $10. What a deal! I got it in the mail yesterday, and attached to it was a price tag - $599.
I googled the brand name - sure enough it was some couture website with one of those look books with pouty, hungry models and no prices listed. The whole thing reeked of an "if you need to ask, you can't afford it" feel, and they're right. I can't. So how did I get this sweater for $10? New with tags?
I feel like a peasant who got away with murder in the palace.
Oh and P.S. - it's pink. When things couldn't get any better, they just did.
3. The Old Testament
Good ol God Almighty has caught me off guard a couple of times in my bible reading lately. There is my longstanding favorites of the guy who was teased by some kids due to his baldness and a bear came out and ate them, and of course Noah - the only patriarch apparently worth saving in the entire world - found by his kids post-ark in a tent passed out drunk and naked.
Recently I added to the list the fact that Eli, after an illustrious life as a well-respected spiritual leader, died by being surprised and falling out of a chair because he was "old and fat". And then, I just read about Saul and how when Samuel appointed him king in front of the people, he ran away and hid in a pile of luggage? Wait, what? I can see it now...."I would make a terrible king! But wait, they will never find me here...."
4. Political bumper stickers
Has anyone ever voted for a political candidate, given peace a chance or sent money to keep Tahoe blue due to a persuasive bumper sticker? I want to meet the person who has said, "You know, I had NO IDEA who should be president of the United States....until I was behind that Prius...my life was changed forever!"
Speaking of life choices, I do not have anything Christian on my car. I wholeheartedly believe that my dastardly low driving ability is not a good representation of our faith. I'm out of the race.
But this guy I recently saw, apparently, has no problem. Rush hour evangelism, anyone?
5. The longevity of the "# "
I say hashtag, you say pound sign. Toe-may-toe, toe-mah-toe....but eventually one side has to win. Will the automated phone systems that have you enter your account number (followed by the pound sign) update the recorded lady? Or will social media start showing some long overdue respect for its elders and give the analog world a pass? This is nail biting, folks.
Happy Wednesday! Or not, apparently, according to Charlotte. 
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