Bless Sam's heart, he couldn't even think of anything at first. At first he told people "candy and ice cream." Then, he really racked his brain and came up with "coloring books." The kid is just content. He basically never asks for anything (except candy and ice cream, but we are working on that). Charlotte was also a bit clueless, but caught on quick...."everything princess, everything Hello Kitty, everything ballet, everything pink but mostly purple....."
Now that their Christmas morning mindset has warmed up a bit, it's really getting going. Sam told me this morning he wants Pokemon & Minecraft videos so he can "find out what all the fuss at recess is about." (did I mention I love this kid?) He also asked for fabric pens so he could write the names of the ninja turtles next to their face on his brand new pajamas (um no).
Charlotte currently wants snow. (not likely, California girl). Oh, and a dog. (received the notorious "we'll see" response from Frank).
Listening to my children with their Christmas wishes, it made me think about my own. If I even have the right to ask anyone for anything on the day we set aside to celebrate the birth of our Savior, there are only two things I want.
Freedom from the biggest, continual, chronic struggles within my spirit.
That, and this shirt:
If I were to get my Christmas wish (and I'm focusing on the first one), it would be kind of amazing. I would love to know what life is like with my issues gone.
Wouldn't we all?
But think further.
Would you live with the genie wish regret of using your final request to ask for more wishes? Won't there always be something that hurts? That annoys? That frustrates? That distracts?
I will probably continue on wishing. I pray every single day for the same thing. But I think it's high time I also realize all of the incredible gifts I've received by being told no. At least, being told no by human standards, that is.
If God had granted my wish right away, I would significantly lack compassion for others. I didn't have much of it before everything happened. Recovering mean girl over here, ladies and gents.
If God had granted my wish after a bit of time, I wouldn't have a genuine relationship with God. I would still be a seeker, and as I recall, I didn't like seeking. I never felt very found, either.
If God had granted my wish after a long while, I wouldn't have started Royal Stage. And as much as I may complain in times of stress and strife, it really is a huge daily honor and blessing to lead it. It is a superb feeling to be obedient to your calling, even in the times it's a major suckfest.
If God granted my wish now, I wouldn't have the drive to write or continue to dedicate my life toward helping others (or at least trying to).
If God grants my wish in the future, I hope that I remember to remain thankful, honorable and show up at church.
But, if He chooses to say no forever - and by forever I am talking about this side of Heaven, because THANK GOODNESS there's a day where there WILL be no more pain and suffering - I am okay with that.
Because even though I hate the side effects of a thorn-in-my-flesh existence, I am also thrilled to declare that God has given me some seriously epic gifts to unwrap. It's so important to remember in the darkness what we've been given by the Light.
Strength.
Empathy.
Experience.
Genuine friendships.
Creativity.
Inspiration.
Patience.
Community.
Family.
Understanding.
Trust.
Motivation.
Freedom (on His terms, not mine).
Safety.
Perspective.
And really, who's going to dare to get in line to exchange those gifts?
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