A Very Quotable Thanksgiving

So there's my family......

My mom watching football, "Well that doesn't seem fair that our guys never get the ball! They should give them a chance with the ball!" 

My uncle: "You guys have a charity race called Run to Feed the Hungry? Can't you just write a check and not have to run?" 

My dad: "So Tammy, are you still writing? Still doing the dance church?" 

During the halftime show....

Mom: "So WHO is this?" 

Uncle: "it says Pitbull on the screen." 

Dad: "that's his name?" 

Uncle: "that's what they're saying..."

Charlotte: "Mommy, if I promise to finish all of my ice cream, can I have some pie?" 

Sam: "Why can't I just have hot chocolate for dinner? Nobody in this family cares about me." 

My mom still watching football: "Look! The screen says Santa Clara! Look! Look!"  (Ed note: I grew up there). 

My dad: "Hot damn! We're finally on the map! Look at that! Santa Clara is on TV!" 

My mom: "I really love that Sherman boy. He's so funny!" 

My mom after I dropped the pumpkin pie, wrapped safely in a bag, with just a corner of crust damaged, "Tammy! You ruined Thanksgiving!" 

Sam saying grace: "And God, please help there to not be too much conversation, so we can just focus on eating." 

Frank after I went to the bedroom to read, "Don't think I don't see how well this is working out for you! You're back here and your parents are out there! And so am I. Alone with them..." 

My mom after looking at my green bean casserole fresh out of the oven, "Hmph! It's fine I guess." 

Sam: "Well, goodnight. I hope I have another great dream about my Spider-Man coloring book!" 

My mom to my dad, "Will you please just stop talking about yourself for five seconds?!" 

My uncle: "Can I see your iPhone? I want to see how one feels in my pocket. I'm unsure on size." 

My mom: "You have paprika, right? Without paprika in the potatoes, Thanksgiving will be ruined." 

My mom (again): "I don't understand why you have wine glasses in a dry house. Seems mocking to guests." 

My mom (again, again): "Oh, let the kids eat as much pie as they want. Don't ruin thanksgiving." 

Suspenseful Nonna/granddaughter storytime.