The Summer of Awesome

A guy that goes to our church rushed down the aisle on Sunday and grabbed my shoulders to stop and tell me something. 

"Ah! You scared me! I'm so jumpy don't do that!" 

He looked at me perplexed, "Why would you be jumpy? You're at church." 

Why was I jumpy? Why do I get such a case of nerves when I'm at church? Or.....any social situation anywhere.....

I am in love with that new Kelly Clarkson song Invincible. Fine, fine - judge me all you want for my Kelly Clarkson love, but girlfriend hit the nail right on the head with these lyrics: 

I was running from an empty threat of emptiness.

I was running from an empty threat that didn't exist.

I was running from an empty threat of abandonment. 

I was running from an empty threat that didn't exist......

I've been sticking pretty well to the resolution to banish all mean girl thoughts from my head over the past couple of months.

 It's really hard! 

People say things to me or about me, and I don't respond. And trust me, I always have a response. Most people's bodies are what, 90% water? Yeah, mine is 90% snark and sarcasm.....but I think (hope?) that the percentage is going down. 

I'm clinging to God and seeing positive changes in my life. Royal Stage went through a season of some interpersonal drama. But for the past several months, long after that had been resolved, I needed to check myself big time when I realized I was the only one in the studio still wounded. 

I'm trying to encourage more. Tell God my opinions when they're negative, but also thank Him continuously for all the positive. And there's a ton! 

And this is the summer of awesome. 

It pays to make changes even when no one else seems to notice. 

The studio is SO peaceful! It feels like the safe place God intended it to be. I am truly understanding how it's not enough for me to want something - I need to live it out. I've never felt safer and happier, and others are telling me they feel the same. 

I'm enjoying my kids more. 

Sam will be seven in 3 weeks - his little years are flying by. Nothing else (except following Christ), is more important than being a part of these remaining moments. 

Frank made the astute observation that Charlotte expresses her insecurities by day, and Sam by night. I've stopped overthinking motherhood - abandoned all my terror of damaging these small people - and Sam's nighttime fear stopped. And Charlotte......is now scotch tape clingy instead of duct tape clingy :) 

I'm allowing myself to celebrate my husband. 

The kids made him candy medals for Father's Day and we awarded him with encouraging words - things we love about him. 

 I don't want to get too ahead of myself here, but I caught Mr. Iron Heart softening a little ;) 

Well, first he was just confused when the national anthem started playing....but then he was happy. 

I am starting to believe in family. Both literal family and spiritual family. 

   Typical feast/hangout with Frank's fam.....We should all love and revere each other as much as Charlotte loves and reveres her Auntie Karen. She's her biggest fan. 

God has truly indulged us in the "surround yourself with good people" department. Our hearts are just overflowing. 

I am handling frustrations better. 

I mean, we're late to everything always, but we are working on it....

I've decided to stop overthinking things. It's summer - I'm allowed to be a little silly and carefree - I didn't get that when I needed to, and now I have some major makeup sessions to complete. 

Let the sunshine in ❤️