You Can't Wait on Others When God's Waiting For You

This was a rotten week.

Between myself & the kids, we've been to Kaiser 9 times this month, and this week we apparently just had to prove our loyalty to our health insurance further as we sat in doctor's offices and pharmacy lines just trying to STOP FEELING SICK!

Things happened in Royal Stage that were frustrating and sad. Nothing outrageous or outside of ministry norm, but as a very wise person told me this week, "sheep bite." And honestly, it hurts.

Add in family drama that has kept us grounded in Sacramento when we should be in the bay area right now, work deadlines that just didn't happen and other fun stuff, and this week just absolutely sucked.

Like any good Millennial, I lamented on Facebook, and so many people were incredibly awesome and took the time to message me, text me, etc. and remind me that despite challenges and struggles in my life, I'm one of the ones that always comes out on top, always prevails, that I am "tough and passionate" and to keep on keeping on.

Dadgummit!

See, here is why I'm so disappointed....God has placed two big dreams on my heart...one, publish a book and two, launch a special year-long project of making people feel loved and blessed.

The book came out December 4.
The year-long project kicks off January 17.

And I've been crazy sick off and on all this month.
I've had people that I was counting on to help me proceed to drop out, flake away and vanish.
I haven't been able to promote my book past Facebook and I haven't done a thing for Project 365.

Right now, everything is primed to fail.

And this is why I love God - because he will never pressure me to listen to Him or make me feel bad in the midst of my pity party. But when I cry out to Him, He will break through barricades of sickness, whining children, frustration and heartache and just bust right in and rescue me from both tangible disappointment and a crazy mind.

He reminded me tonight: 

ALL things are possible through Him

Callings He's placed on my life are not defined by other people.

He will provide and always does.

Even when plans fall through, He never does.

I have an amazing, wonderful, safe church home to go to when I can't go to "real" home, and a year ago I did not have that.

I have amazing, wonderful, bright, loving children and five years ago I did not have that.

Things can change for the better very quickly, and the ones who come out on top are the ones who do not give up!

If I had my way, of course the money would magically appear for India, people would come to Project 365, my book would sell well and I would be able to breathe out of both my lungs again.....but no matter what the rest of the weekend brings, it's nice to be grateful and remember that God is in control and He is much more proficient at steering the way than I am.

Like another wise person told me a few days ago, it's time to walk away and allow the dispassionate to be blessed and to move forward with where God calls. Even when it hurts, is scary and is not on my own personal agenda at all.

Because that is where the best adventure is always found.

If your heart is as heavy as mine tonight, let's agree to try to rest easy with faith like a child. Because God says to. And really, what other choice is there that is sure to turn out as brilliant and wonderful as that?