A Spelling Bee Loss

Sam was in a spelling bee today atschool 

 He was cute. They had to make the mic super short. 

I was brimming with pride this week because he was the only kindergartner invited out of his school's five K classes. I don't think a five year old in a spelling bee equals a spot at Harvard or anything, but I think we ALL as parents have those little moments where we celebrate the specialness of our children and it's fun to indulge without being obnoxious. 

So we were excited. Sam nailed more than 3/4 of the 500ish list words at home. I knew he wouldn't win, but I was hoping he would get a word or two in. 

Then, we hit traffic and so he was late. We threw him at his teacher when we got there and he made it just in time to still participate. Then, he got nervous. 

I can always tell when he gets nervous because he gets this big goofy grin and even though it looks like he is enjoying himself, he is actually going brain damaged before our very eyes. 

Then he gets the word "prize." Yeah! We practiced that one a million times and he never got it wrong! Not once! 

Sam confidently: Prize. P-I-R-Z-E. Prize.

Oops. 

And then it was over. We just stinking arrived and then he was out. I was consoled by the fact a handful of other kids misspelled on the first try so he wasn't ostracized from society or anything, but when I saw the sad little sack sitting there trying not to cry, the mama bear within me roared out. 

He should get another chance. He's too young for this and I shouldn't have agreed to it. Stupid woman who gave my baby a word he didn't know. 

This was, of course, completely irrational. 

His teacher was there and she was SO supportive and proud of him still, and I was reminded of how lucky we are to have him in a good school that he almost didn't get into due to a lottery system. 

We got in the car, and of course for dramatic emphasis it was pouring rain, and then he mourned. Well , first he asked me if he had won the spelling bee, and then he cried. 

Then he asked to go to Sizzler for dinner and that was that. 

I sat amazed at his resiliency during dinner. He didn't care at all that he studied all week and bombed. He laughed with his sister and ate spaghetti and hasn't mentioned spelling since. 

I've mentioned it before....how the bible tells us to have "faith like a child." I did not grasp that concept until I had children - especially this older one who feels things incredibly deeply and yet moves on without issue. 

How I wish I could look back on times in my life where I made a mistake - and just take it like it is and move forward without looking back. That's something I'm constantly working on, and hopefully getting better at. 

My five year old inspires me. I think God uses our kids to remind us what's inportant. And to remember that just as I love Sam no matter what he can spell,  God loves all of us no matter how we stumble, make mistakes, etc. 

In Him there is freedom and we never have to look back. 

Eating our troubles away. A lesson he had to learn eventually :)