Now or Never

The Project has become a sort of a joke. At least in my mind. Lately with all things regarding ministry, I've felt like a complete joke. I know this is because I see things under a microscope - that I'm just too close to everything to have clear perspective.....but lately I've just wanted to throw in the towel because my life is so comfortable and awesome that I am beginning to feel as if I am taunting God somehow when I ask for opportunities to serve Him and don't follow through. When it's easy to just let important things go because no one else comes alongside. 

The world is filled with people who care, but do not. Who help, but not really. Who believe, but want things to be easy. 

I've become that person - thus, the Project has stalled. And stalled and stalled and now I am older and more tired and distracted. It's like hitting the gym 60 lbs later than you intended. It's more difficult now, the discipline is gone and you'll find the only person worth blaming when you look in the mirror. 

I decided I needed to do the Project today. But what could I do? It's the day after Christmas, article deadlines are creeping upon me, I'm overwhelmed with Royal Stage right now, excuses excuses excuses......

Tell her God loves her. 

What? 

Oh, hi God. You know, we went an incredibly long time without speaking and now you talk to me all the time. I don't mean to be a brat or anything , but sometimes perhaps the old way was easier. 

Tell her God loves her . 

"Her" is a woman I sort of met at the doctor's office a week ago when my children were both in foul moods, I had a raging viral infection and the line of people was aggravatingly long. A man had literally stepped on Charlotte, knocking her down to the floor and releasing a barrage of sobs and wails, which had let to the doctor giving her candy - but not to Sam. Tears poured from the other team. 

Then I hear the woman behind me, frustrated because her phone is about to die and she needs to call her husband about their little boy there with her. 

I offer her my phone, much to the agonizing protests of my little hungry and tired appendages who wanted to play Sonic the Hedgehog. 

She looked absolutely stunned that a stranger would readily hand her an iPhone with full trust and she calls her husband. She thanks me profusely. That's the end of the story. 

Until today, when God tells me to tell her He loves her. 

Seriously? I will sound like an idiot and don't I already live enough of my life like that? 

I still have her husband's phone number in my phone. I text him, "Hi, I know this is weird but did your wife call you from a stranger's phone last week?" 

Immediate reply - yes. 

This is ridiculous.

"Okay I promise I'm not a total whack a doo or anything, but God really stuck her to my heart. I know you don't know me, but if your family needs prayer for anything, I am here. And I'm supposed to tell you God really loves you guys. And uh, Merry Day After Christmas." 

The wife responds. With thankfulness and a handful of prayer requests - so open and happy and now we are friends. 

I promise to pray for her. She is grateful and surprisingly transparent. 

It's kind of fun listening to God. 

So easy. I can do this every day.