Healing from the Top Down

I am ridiculously distractable. 

I am jumpy when I hear/feel movement behind me, and my attention is usually drawn toward whatever is seen in my peripheral. I'm just not any good at paying attention. 

On the the other side, I find life to be much easier when I force myself to be nothing but focused. A Mulan instead of an Alice. A tunnel instead of an expansive country road. A Mary Instead of a Peter. To sit at the feet of Jesus and listen instead of speaking before thinking. 

Last night at bible study, we chatted about the story of Jesus healing the paralytic. You know, the one where his friends got together and dropped him through some poor schmuck's roof so he would be front and center before Jesus and be able to walk? 

And Jesus, as that clever guy often loves to do, turned the whole thing upside down by healing him, yes. But first telling him his sins are forgiven. 

Excuse me? Did the man come for legs or salvation? I'm guessing the former, but how cool and amazingly special to receive both? The best 2 for 1 deal on Earth! 

And it really humbled me. Probably even more importantly, it silenced me. 

I could go on and on about the theological insight behind this story, the different thoughts people had at bible study....but at the end of the day, this human being was focused on a broken physical body, and Christ before him prioritized the spiritual. 

I've stopped praying for the healing many of you now know I need. It used to be a big secret, I used to just be perceived as aloof, snobby or stand offish. Now trust is more a part of the everyday and a whole mess of people have seen my heart on my sleeve, knowing exactly what "my ailments" are. I need healing. Big time. 

Which is exactly why I'm no longer praying for it. I will certainly have those desperate moments with God where the Holy Spirit prays on my behalf. God knows my heart and so to cease petitioning my greatest desire to Him is basically impossible. 

But....consciously, I'm done asking. And I'm ready to start thanking. 

Thank you, God, for my salvation. 

Thank you, Jesus, for giving me a gift no one else can snatch away. 

Thank you, Father, for healing me from the top to bottom - in other words, your order of priorities, not mine. 

I've never been lowered through a roof.  The closest I've probably ever come is my friend Anna belaying me down from a climbing wall and I was not too thrilled about that.  

But I AM laying at the feet of Jesus, just like that paralyzed man was centuries ago....and leaving it up to Him to set the priorities when it comes to healing. 

That's kind of hard, you know? But it's definitely possible and I'm focused on it. I can be thankful and assured of my eternity. 

What else, really, do I need? Certainly I want a lot. But needs? I'll be just fine because at the end of the day, I've received the best sort of healing imaginable.