Circus at Dawn

I live in a circus. And while being ringmaster certainly has its blessings, I'm not a fan of working the graveyard shift. 

3am. Sam crawls into our bed. I'm too tired to move him back, and since he sleeps diagonally, Frank gives up and goes to sleep on the couch. 

5am. Charlotte crawls into our bed. Here's the conversation as best I remember it, as I was in a dead sleep when it began: 

"Sa-am! Move over!" 

(I'm always impressed with how she makes his name two syllables. Sometimes even three.) 

"No." 

"Sa-am! I said move over!" 

"I can't! I'll break the eggs!" 

"Sam, there are no eggs in the bed. Make room for your sister, please." 

"Sa-a-a-a-a-m!" 

(Wow! That was six!) 

"I TOLD YOU I'LL BREAK THE EGGS!" 

"Sam! There are no eggs in the bed!!!! Move over right now or you need to go on time out!" 

(Please God let him move over so I don't have to get out of bed to put him on time out. Miracles do happen. I could still get to go back to sleep....) 

"Fine! I'll move over, Charlotte! But I am going to crack my eggs on you!" 

I hear a slapping noise. Sam starts crying. I hear another slapping noise. Charlotte starts crying. 

"You guys!" 

"Sam hit me with his egggggsssss!" 

"She pushed me first!!!! And then hit me!" 

"You hit me with eggs first!" 

"THERE ARE NO EGGS IN THIS BED!!!" 

"Wahhhhh! Yes there are! *hic* *sniff* there were dinosaur eggs and I was supposed to protect themmmmmmm!!!! aHHHHHHHH" 

"Wahhhhhh!!!!"

(Charlotte, because she clearly felt left out.)

"Okay, back to your beds. Both of you. " 

"Nooooooooo!" (In unison.) 

"Yesssss!" 

I pick each one up - Sam thrown over my shoulder in a fireman carry, Charlotte under my other arm. If it were daylight, I could've caught a glimpse of Frank fake-sleeping on the couch as we barreled down the hallway and into their room. 

Girl in bottom bunk. Boy on top bunk. Wailing like their toenails are being pulled out, I close their bedroom door. 

They are fast asleep in less than five minutes. 

6:30am. "Mama! Look what I learned in school! Lemonade! *clap clap clap* Crushed ice! *clap clap clap*" 

Sam continues through some other junk food/drink list, clapping what I'm fairly certain is the wrong amount of times. 

"And then there's this part, but you don't have to do it." 

(He starts to roll around on his back, kicking his legs. Then he starts to do the work across the bed. At this point I'm fairly certain he's adding his own signature flair to a playground game he liked, but felt needed further artistic expression." 

He's shouting and clapping about chips, Pepsi, one, two, three.....when Charlotte appears. 

7:45am. Charlotte hollers from the living room as I'm back in bed, catching up on the Kardashians. 

"Mama!!!! Don't you remember that if I ask for juice and you give it to me, I'll spill it?!?!" 

Happy Friday, everybody. Mothers everywhere - be strong.