When God Says No

Admittedly, there are times I think that somehow God will "give" me something in exchange for all I've been through. 

This is complete crap. Not only is it conceited and skewed, it's also far from biblical. 

Sometimes, I find myself thinking, "After all that has happened in my life, and the fact that I'm still committed to Christ and serving Him....certainly He'll bless me if He really loves me." After the fight I've had to put up just to remain in His presence, it would be nice to have a prayer answered. 

This is the part of the story where I should be struck dead with a lightning bolt. The end! 

But, despite my sass, ungrateful heart and shaky faith....God still gives me another day. 

I work my rear off for my ministry. We found a building that would solve all of our logistical struggles. The owners loved us. They gave us a key so we could start the bonding process ;) We believed we were set. 

No, I believed I was set. 

I, I, I. Me, me, me. 

Gosh Tam. Seriously. Who are you to demand special gifts from the God of the Universe?! 

So we lost the building today. The dream has died, people. 

But here's the funny thing. Despite my selfish nature, God has been working on me. He has changed the way I pray. 

You see, I never prayed "God, I want this building." Instead, as my view of God evolves and becomes more healthy and accurate, I learned to pray instead, "God, please have Your will be done. Put us where is best for us to do Your work." 

So.....because of all that I've been through in my life, and because God loves me (and all of us)...He did, in fact, answer my prayer. 

His will is being done. 

Now, it's up to me to confidently walk in His decision and find joy through my disappointment. To know that HE is on the other side of this. He knows exactly where He wants this ministry to be. 

Thank you, Lord for your goodness. 

Thank you, Father for your protection. 

Thanks that this ministry has never gone without. 

Thanks that you're already waiting for us at the landing place you've chosen. 

Thank you for your incredible, kind, loving patience as I learn the most important lesson of all. 

To get the heck out of Your way while You  lead me further from my own desires and closer to Your amazing, perfect peace.