His attitude regarding the tooth fairy, however, was not.
First of all, we do not do the imaginary gift giving league with our kids - there is no Santa, Easter Bunny or Tooth Fairy on this homestead. Go ahead and judge me - believe me, no one could possibly be more perturbed and disappointed in this parenting decision than my mother, so no worries.
We have plenty of magic around here, our holiday traditions are special and our kids greatly look forward to them - but when Sam puts teeth under his pillow, he knows it's us making the monetary contribution toward the cause.
"I get $5 per tooth. That's $10."
"No, you don't. Try more like a dollar per tooth ."
"A dollar?!"
We planned to get him the now quite hard to find gold dollar coins that shine like pirate's treasure and would thrill him.
Unfortunately his expectations almost ruined it.
"There better be $10 under here!" he exclaimed as he reached under his pillow.
He saw the two gold dollars and was thrilled - had no idea they existed and thought they were so neat - and yet there was a touch of remorse mixed in with the joy as he realized what he had said and that it had made me also a bit sad that he wanted what he thought was best rather than what special surprise we had in store.
If I've said it once I've said it a thousand times....my children continually teach me about God.
How stubborn and selfish I can be, demanding things of God. I try very hard to never treat God as a genie existing only to grant my wishes, but I definitely place expectations on Him.
God will heal me because it will stop the pain.
God will restore that relationship because then I will feel so much better.
God will provide all of my wants because i perceive them as needs and God wants me to be happy.
The past couple of sermons I've heard have been about the Israelites wandering through the desert, and how they grumbled and focused on what they wanted so much, they lost perspective. And with it, they almost lost out on experiencing God's purest blessings. He took them to the absolute end of their rope before He showed the center of his goodness.
Why?
Why would he let them wait three days for water, and 40 years for deliverence?
Why would Peter leap out of the boat in a storm while the rest stayed behind?
Why would the bleeding woman touch Jesus after all other resources had been used up?
Why would a paralyzed man agree to come crashing through someone's roof in order to lay before Jesus?
Story after story there's an example of people reaching the end of their rope....and then the miracle happens.
It's our fault, you know. We think we have a better idea of what should happen. We do what we think we should before even bringing it to God. We tend to convince ourselves we can never serve Him or follow Him fully until things are "just right" from our perspective.
There's a cliche metaphor Christians always use...about how diamonds must go through intense heat and pressure before they start to shine. Or, if you prefer, there's the version of a stone becoming smooth and polished only after the rushing wster runs over it.
These analogies are true...but sometimes the waves are just going to come. Sometimes that heat and pressure isn't going to produce a diamond if it's because we are going against God's will.
God can make anything beautiful - but why do we...no, I.....have such a hard time seeking out that beauty - instead trusting a process and outcome we expect and place on God.
God can make us into diamonds, sure. But man can make diamonds, too, through job promotions, diets and wardrobe upgrades.
I want gold.
Gold is found deep in the earth and cannot be authentically replicated by people. And that's what i want - to be so deep in the center of God's will that my beauty and shine is pure and real. In other words, my hands aren't on it. I have no impact on the outcome - I can do the work, but through that I agree to follow him to the depths so I can experience that rare and beautiful faith that comes from one source alone.
Sure, I can be a diamond and have a great testimony.
But I want to be gold - created and preserved by God and God alone.
No comments:
Post a Comment