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Tonight, Sam came into our bedroom while I was working on my laptop and asked if we could snuggle before he had to go to bed. 

Here is a visual aid, because he's really handsome ;) 

He ended up drifting off to sleep next to me, and one of the last things he said was "I love you, mommy." 

I told him I loved him too, and then he said, "Yes, I know. You love me and even when you are angry or frustrated at me, you still love me and will always be glad you have me." 

He's repeated this back to me before, and I'm always glad when he does because it's something I always want him to remember. I want him to always be secure in my love for him, especially now that he's five and his sister is two and I tend to be "angry or frustrated" a lot. 

There are words I'm determined to delete from my vocabulary before the year is through, partly because of these two precious little sponges that live with me and partly because I've decided they're just not good for me. 

I hate _____________. 

I've abused this term since I was a kid. I hate raw tomatoes. I hate traffic. I hate hot weather. According to the dictionary, hate means "extreme dislike", which seems quite accurate - but hearts hear it differently. I don't really HATE these things. I hate seeing others in pain. I hate injustice. I hate lies. It isn't good to throw around the word "hate" for tomatoes and traffic - it hardens the heart too easily. 

I'm ugly. 

Yeah, I think this one daily. I refuse to give it power by speaking it aloud anymore, no matter how true I may think it is at times. I'm half my mother -  an incredible cook, funny, creative writer and a sentimental spirit. The other half comes from my father - tenacious and determined. I shouldn't hate my roots, even when they frustrate me. I shouldn't disrespect what God chose me to look like, even when I don't agree. 

I can't.  

A lot of times I think I can't. But I can. And I have. And I will. 

I'm not good enough. 

Yeah, probably so. But God hasn't filled my position with anyone else yet and I'm still here and breathing, so I guess I should just keep going and trust Him to provide everything I cannot. 

I'm afraid. 

I refuse to be afraid anymore. Nothing good comes from fear. 

A lot of good, safe, wonderful things come every day, when you allow yourself to look for them.