Big Bad Kindergartener

I called Sam exactly this the other day, and his eyes got wide, "Mommy, I'm not bad!" I had to explain to him that I meant brave, cool, gutsy, awesome.....he accepted that description of his character much more easily.

We applied to CMP back over the holidays and were both heartbroken when he wasn't selected from the lottery in February. We live in the Twin Rivers school district, and so I felt like one of those moms in Waiting for Superman, sobbing and frustrated that my child's educational fate was being left up to a random process that turned out not to be in our favor.

We can't afford private school, and God has not put homeschooling on my heart. I work three days a week and Sam exudes my stubborn streak 7 days a week....it would've been a disaster. We believed God answered our prayer when we nabbed a remaining spot at a charter school nearby. Literally 3 minutes from our house with a performing arts emphasis? Yes please!

But my heart was still sad. Every mom thinks their kid is exceptional. And my boast is that Sam has a 4th grade reading level and is just crazy absorbent with learning. He loves people, he loves to explore the world around him - I didn't want to see that desire die. But what choice did we really have?

Imagine our surprise when we receive a call Monday night letting us know that Sam's spot on the waitlist had come up and he had a spot at a CMP campus after all! And the first day of school was Wednesday.

What a crazy scramble for all new school stuff (bye bye Angry Birds backpack and Darth Vader lunchbox) and attempting to find a store that carried the CMP uniform in a size that actually fit. (Our burly 5 year old is currently sporting a 3T).

But it all worked out and we couldn't be more thrilled with where he's landed. An even bigger answer to praise, there are only 14 children in his class (I hate the lottery process but love the small class size mandate!) and his head teacher is the mentor teacher for all the Kindergartens. In other words, she is a total rockstar. Sam loves her and so do we.

Next year, he will be in a Grade 1-2-3 combo class - he will have the same teacher for 3 years and will have so much room to grow at his own pace - whether that continues to be advanced or if he chooses to take things a little more slowly :)

                                                   With Miss Darcy at Meet and Greet Day....
                                                   ....12 hours after we found out he got in!

                                                   Assistant teacher Miss Marina

                                                    Feeling victorious after his first day :)

Exhausted but Blessed

Summer is a time I normally work hard to stay busy so my mind stays focused. Um, I rather EXCELLED at that this year....so. freaking. busy.

This week is the final week of insanity...everybody wants a piece of me...I am so horrifically behind on returning phone messages and emails....I always ask myself if it's worth it. Does my ministry really make a difference in anyone's life? Who knows....maybe I won't truly know until eternity. But I know it's made a difference in mine. 

Tonight I'm grateful: 

- For summer camp today, when Ryan asked the kids to pray "God you think a million thoughts about me, please tell me one." Out of all the standard "churchy" responses, one little girl boldly proclaimed God told her she will be a mighty warrior for Him. Awe :) 

- For one of our Roseville teens - last night she came to me with the most incredibly maturity and composure and shared really tough, scary stuff about her life. And asked rationally for help working toward a solution. So proud of her!!! <3 div="" nbsp="">

- For my phone alarm that goes off at 9:15 each night - a reminder to stop everything and pray for Royal Stage - and the awesome feeling of knowing that seven other people have their alarm set for the exact same time for the exact same reason. 

- For the opportunities I've had to dance in several different countries around the world, and the opportunity to dance again on Friday night here close to home. I am not the best in the bunch, but God considers me worth enough that He strips all feelings of depression, panic and fear away from me when I dance. Wherever that's at. My favorite shows are still in the living room with my kids :) 

- For an incredibly busy life that causes me to purposely recognize the importance of just having black out hours to focus on non-ministry things. Tonight it was a stay at home "date night" with Sam. I tucked Charlotte into bed, Frank was out with friends and Sam and I played a brutal game of Monopoly Junior with the rule that everyone must speak in a British accent for the entirety of the evening. Followed, of course, by popcorn, silly songs and bedtime stories. 

That last one is what really counts. 

I am so grateful for my life. There are a lot of cracks and weak spots in it right now...but it's getting better. I'm stupidly over-scheduled but having so much fun. 

I am thankful for summer <3 div="" nbsp="">

Braver.

God has taken me on a bit of a crazy journey lately. There are a lot of things in my life that need to be handled in a way differently than they ever have been. 

A few days ago, God brought some real healing. Progress I'm so thankful for. And a verse I eagerly claim, and which I want to find some way to always hold on to when the storms come. Because they will. This isn't my first rodeo and it likely won't be my last. 

Tuesday brought victories, Wednesday produced more and Thursday the enemy got mad, mad, mad, mad, mad. 

He noticed something's up. He saw I was missing from his role sheet and now he's pulling out all the stops to try and get me back. 

But here's the deal. When you watch a horror movie, it can be very frightening. But if you watch it a dozen times, the fear lessens. You stop closing your eyes. You know what happens next. 

The devil has a roomful of ammo against me. But all his methods are repeats. I'm not allowing him to fire at me anymore. I can see him coming. I don't have to stand there and wait to get wounded. 

I'm not going to just be silent and defeated anymore. I'm well acquainted with that life and it isn't a pleasant one. 

Sometimes I get horrible panic attacks. My heart pounds, my skin tingles, I feel dizzy, nauseous, frantic, terrified.....but it's time for Satan to remember that God designed my body and he isn't allowed to have control over something he didn't create. 

A lot of times I have tremendous bouts of depression. My spirit is filled with so much darkness and despair.....but God has filled my spirit with visions of dances, words of encouragement - a great month ahead. The pain has to move on, because there are no vacancies here. 

My past loves to chase me down. It runs fast. Why do I try to beat it to the finish line? All I need to do is turn around and tell those lies that this isn't my deal. And stand firm. 

My Jesus will be there. I can do this. 

Overload

I have so much to do today, it's rather unreal. Thus, it obviously makes perfect sense to start out my work day blogging, right? I make smart choices ;)

As much as I am not a fan of summer, I have to admit it is flying by. I cannot believe it's almost August, and in less than three weeks I will be sending my little boy off to Kindergarten. In case anyone's been wondering - I am SO not okay with this. Wasn't he just born?

I've lived most of my life in the fast lane - not in an edgy, let's-go-skydiving-every-Saturday sort of way, but I always tend to cram so much life into my weeks, that I end up sort of grazing over experiences instead of experiencing them fully. My mind is always onto the next thing before the current thing has a chance to even BE a thing.

There have been consequences for this:
1) I don't always listen as carefully to God as I should

2) I don't move on quickly from hurts because I put off acknowledging fully how they affect me

3) Although very guarded, I  tend to grow close with people very easily, because I often don't take the time to discern true character.

4) I begin to place more importance on serving up Jesus to my kids via bible stories and Christian music
rather than showing them an example by being unashamedly in love with Him in front of them.

5) My house is a mess.

Before summer is over, there are things in my life that need to change. I need to re-prioritize. It's a good thing I'm already a compulsive list maker.

- I need to wake up in God's word. Right now my quiet times are usually at night, when I am exhausted. God has given me a gourmet feast of a life - it's so good - he does not deserve solely my leftovers at the end of the day. Some of the strongest Christian women I know read their Bible first thing. I need to do this. Lock myself in the closet if I have to.

- Organize the house. It's clean - but is it organized? Nope. I want every single room to look like a Pinterest post, damnit.

- Spend a day with Sam and Sam alone. He wants to go to the Zoo and he's made it crystal clear Charlotte isn't invited. This is really important to do before Kindergarten begins.

- Get crazy organized and reignited about Royal Stage.

- Stay out of God's way and let him do his thing.

Summer is flying by!

Our Favorite Hideaway

For some it's camping, for others it's a favorite ice cream shop. For our family, it's Disneyland. This is not new information to anyone who knows me. Frank and I are utterly disgusted by capitalist America - but we can make an exception for Mickey, right? 

This is the first trip I started to love Disneyland in a whole new way - for the first time both of our kids were old enough to get really crazy excited about things. And they delivered. 

    On her very first roller coaster in Toontown

   Forgot her hair barrettes so we bought these in an attempt to tame the curls. She walked around screaming "I'm Minnie! I'm Minnie!" For three days. 

    Exactly 40 inches tall! Star Tours yay! 

    I'm particularly proud they requested Alice three times on their own. 

    It's been all about the Star Wars lately....

   She chose a baby Ariel. It's been all about mermaids lately.....

    How was Disneyland? A little sunny...

    Both kids are going through the awkward smile for the camera phase. Awesome. 

    Best seat in the house - between nana and grandpa. 

    Mommy, she is crying on dumbo??? What the heck! 

    Well fine then I'm going to cry because  upset she's crying......

Truly though, we remained pretty happy at the Happiest Place on Earth. I love our family. 

Lively Little Lives

My dear friend Ashley took some random shots of the kids last night - the results capture their personalities better than any other photo I've seen.  I am so blessed.

From her facebook: 

My random afternoon with the Warta kids!

I got to spend some quality time with the funniest kids on the planet...and try out my new lens to boot! FUN 

 

 

A Whole Hand Old

Sam is officially five. He has made sure everyone knows it. It's all he talks about.

"I'm a WHOLE HAND."

"I'm FIVE now."

"I'm allowed to watch STAR WARS now!"

Five is a big deal. We haven't had a big birthday party for Sam since his 1st, which took place at a park during a heat wave with about bajillion people in attendance. We celebrated his 5th in much the same way.

It's hotter than Hell outside - it must be Sam's birthday.

In a cute little twist of irony, Sam specifically requested Dinosaurs in the Snow as his party theme. I capitalize that as if it is an established party theme, a children's movie or something....nope. I was on my own with this one. Even Pinterest just shrugged at me with its stupid "no pins found" page and left me in the dust.

We worked it out. Pretzels for dinosaur bones, powdered sugar donuts for snowballs and plenty of ice blue and white lollipops and vanilla tootsie rolls. We found a dinosaur cake at the store (store bought! hallelujah!) and I added some marshmallows to it for "snow."

The kids had 4 activities - arctic swimming pools, ice boat races, snow n' slide and blue water balloons. All activities were destroyed in about five minutes - the snow n' slide (tarps with shaving cream on them) bunched up in the grass and the cream ran out quickly. The arctic pools (baby pools) became murky from the shaving cream covered bodies jumping in - but it actually ended up making a cool arctic effect in the water, so yay! The ice boat races were bars of soap with little homemade sails out of scrapbook paper and those worked well - as did the blue water balloons that seemed to completely drench about four children while the rest managed to stay dry.

I made 17 tiny scarves and/or winter hats for all of Sam's toy dinosaurs, and we taped down winter and dinosaur themed jokes onto the tables. All our scarves, gloves and hats made an appearance.

And I forgot to take pictures of everything. Ah well! I did get pics of the adorable kiddos at the party - this was Sam's first "friend" party and he has some pretty great ones.

                                         Elisa came over early with Cara, where we proceeded to
                                        get the most awkward photo ever of our three kids. Hey,
                                        at least he's wearing pants....

                                          They picked up where they last left off and got along famously :)

                                          I love that our daughters are only 6 months apart! So many incredible years ahead.

                                                    I can't believe that little tiny baby is 5!

                                                    Sam got a birthday cupcake from Autymn. He was awestruck.

                                                     Sam was so excited he was allowed to drink Kool-Aid, he went a little nuts. He pounded it like cheap beer at a frat party and ended up puking in the grass at the end of the day.

                      After the cake, Annie was crazy excited she was allowed to go wild with the remaining marshmallows.

                                       I told Charlie no to candy...but Pastor Michael said yes.

                                         Gabriel made Sam the cutest card. I just love these two :)

                                          Best friends holding future BFFs :) Love these ladies.

                                          I probably should've taken the cake out of the box and at least
                                         pretended I made the cake....

                                                   This child is not uncomfortable with attention ;)

                                         All of Sam's friends. So blessed to know all these incredible kids, most of which go to our amazing church. Such wonderful families - excited for more parties!

                                                   Don't mess with Charlie when she's eating Nonna's homemade ziti.

                                          Best friends.

 Tracy was Sam's overnight NICU primary. 5 years later, we still keep in touch with her. Still surprising, she showed us she has had Sam's first footprint and handprint on the back of her badge for five entire years. Cannot believe how far he's come.

                                                  Izzy loved the "snow"

                                         Charlotte's friend Vanessa - inseparable.

                                          Hailey and Aiden in the "arctic pools."

                                         More "snow."

                                          It didn't last very long.....
                                          

 

                                         Covered in "snow."

                                                    Some of the dinos' winter ensembles

                                                  Charlie got a new present too. She takes her play kitchen very seriously, and now she has an outfit to match.