The Pink of Perfection

Do I dare say my life is absolutely perfect? I mean, obviously it isn't, as I have a projectile vomiting daughter right now, and I can feel myself getting sick as well, but nonetheless today struck me as a day of total gratefulness.

• Kids are healthy (I mean overall. The flu is killing us right now!) 
• Frank loves his new job, which he's already been at for two months!
• Royal Stage is going amazing
• So many wonderful people remembered Royal Stage during the holidays and donated
• My writing is going well - both commercially to pay bills, and personally toward publishing
• Our house is clean(ish)
• Depression/anxiety has been non-existent
• We have really, truly wonderful friends
• Frank's family is absolutely amazing with the kids. So blessed to have them live nearby.
• Ditto to his sister, niece, aunts, etc. I am so blessed to have children growing up in a happy extended family. 
• We've finally found a church we ALL love. It took two years and quite the journey, but we have truly found "home" I think. 
• We are warm, our fridge is full, our house is safe, our cars are running.                                                    

There is so much more than this to be thankful for. This is a very short list.  And, amidst all of this thankfulness, I didn't do anything for the project today. It's okay though - like I said, I am not going to be hard on myself. I will just hope I blessed someone in some way, and move forward.

U-Turn Ministry

Day 2 of determining to love others more. The kids' daycare told me she needed new backup clothes for them (the little one grows quickly and the bigger one relaxes his bladder a bit too much at naptime if you know what I mean), and so I stopped work early to swing by Wal Mart.

(Editor's note: Wal Mart has really cute separates for babies/kids, and they are cheap. Don't judge me. Everyone compliments me on Charlotte's outfits and they are usually under $10. I'm a winner.)

On my way into the parking lot, I saw a homeless man holding up a sign, but I didn't really get a chance to read it. It's not unusual to see a homeless person stationed on a few of the corners around here, so it wasn't very surprising. And I knew I had just found Day 2 goal.

I got the kids' clothes and some other things we needed very quickly, hoping that I would get back before he was gone. A lot of times they will wander away if they aren't getting any help, or more often the police chase them away.

I went into the grocery section and added warm fried chicken, bagel chips, a deli sandwich, some breakfast bars and some juice and water to my cart and got in line.

The line took FOR EV ER. The cashier didn't know how to ring anything up. She was manually typing in almost every item after she couldn't get anything to scan. Then, I realized I had forgotten my debit card in my car, and since the lines were moving like molasses I decided to just write a check. Of course, she didn't know how to do that correctly on the first try and.....it was just a long process from the back of the line to the exit door.

Fortunately, suspect was still there. And I couldn't get to him. He was on the wrong side of the road barrier, so I had to drive 3 blocks out of the way to wait for the next legal U-turn. Since it was a busy intersection, I figured I could park my car in the shopping center across from where he was at, and then walk the groceries over to him.

Park my car. Realize that the lot I am in does not connect to the other one, which has a wrought iron fence around it. Get back in the car. Make another U-turn in the other direction, and then take a side street as an attempt to get back toward him again. Now I'm on the wrong side of the street again, and the light is green so I cannot stop.

Drive the three blocks up again, U around again, and pray. Okay God, if you want me to bless this person today, make it happen.

It was the first time in my life I ever prayed for a red light during a California rush hour.

The light turned red and my car stopped dead in front of him. Turns out he wasn't a homeless man at all, but a guy probably around 18 years old with war paint on his face. He was traveling to Texas, and had run out of money so was looking for help to keep going.

At first I was a little disappointed it wasn't a more destitute fellow (note to self: get contact lens prescription checked!), but rather likely a spoiled rich kid who decided to do it on his own and not get help from a great family he probably has.

But then I really checked myself. I had written this note to go with the food, and the words didn't really seem to make sense to me at the time.

They seemed geared toward someone younger than an old homeless man. Like someone who may be searching for value in life more than handouts.

Anyway, he took the food very excitedly and we had a rushed conversation about where he was headed until the light turned green.

And then I was so flustered and turned around from all those turns and the excitement of trying to get the bags of groceries to this kid, that I got completely lost trying to get to the kids' daycare.

Great. Day 2 - almost never saw my kids again. Sheesh.

New Year, Happy Life

Ever since I wrote the Project 365 script many moons ago, I've wanted to complete a real life Project 365. Then, life got in the way. I did great for awhile, but then my ambition started to taper off. Then, I started hating the name because it was also the name of some photography social networking thing, and it just didn't seem as special.

But the concept still is, and I know God placed it upon my heart to do. And I can really not complain about being too busy, because if we are too busy to help, love and show Christ to one another - what does everything else count for?

So the rules:

1) I will share God's love with someone, somehow once per day
2) I will record the results here in this blog
3) I will not give myself a hard time if I skip a day - it's a good thing, and I won't make it negative.
4) I will get it published. Yes, dang it. I will.

Of course, I spent the final hours of New Year's Eve rather dreading 2013 because not only had I had an absolutely fantastic 2012, but I was nervous to start. How stupid as a ministry founder and outgoing person to be afraid to share Christ's love - but I am all the time. I am grateful that fear rarely stops me from doing things though, so here we go.

Day 1, we all went to Target for storage bins because our Christmas decorations magically no longer fit in the bin we have. I don't know why, but something weird happened and I had a Target gift card so decided to go on an organizational spree to get the entire house placed into bins, baskets and shelving.

I told Frank on the way over that I am restarting the yet to be named love project, and then stepped out of the car to see a woman approaching us. She looked disheveled, exhausted and incredibly hung over and said her friend was supposed to pick her up from work, never showed up, and could she have $6.00 for the bus.

Woo hoo! Could she ever! I love that God brought Project #1 to me as conveniently as pizza delivery. And wait, it really costs $6 to ride the bus now? I am old.....

She was so grateful, and told us she had been asking people for awhile and no one had helped her. And off she went to the bus stop.

I should have said more. I told her Happy New Year. What about God loves you? Jesus died for you? I did this because God told me to?

Sigh.

Then, I realized that I forgot the gift card at home and we couldn't buy anything anyway.

Grateful it wasn't a wasted trip.

I'll do better tomorrow. Baby steps. It's been awhile.

Vision for 2013 Part 3: A Balanced Heart

2012 was a truly incredible year for Royal Stage. We got our own building, out on some great shows and got some amazing ministry opportunities.

If someone asked me to sum up the year as royal stage director I would say,

"This year we were blessed with every single thing we needed to not only survive but thrive. We taught dance to rescued prostitutes, to abused women and to inner city children who had been wrongly taught to not have hope. "

I am so humbled and blessed to be a part of RS.

It was also a very difficult year. A lot of people left. Not for bad reasons or anything the ministry did - but life just changed a lot of things for a lot of individuals. Viewpoints changed, schedules changed - it was tough. I've found myself in a perpetual state of grieving those who have moved on. I know it's normal. I could never be a pastor of a church - I don't know how they do it all the time - my heart would cave in.

My personal ministry vision in 2013 is To trust more. God has never let us fall, so why do I continue to be so afraid?

My god, my father - he desires blessings upon those who love Him. And oh I do! So that's it then.

There is a great year ahead in royal stage - so I will stop. Being. Afraid! He has brought is so far - why ever would I shy away now. To hide from His perfect will an blessings would be crazy. And hiding in the shelter of His wings is perfection.

Vision for 2013 Part 2: Charming Charlie

This year was the first we experienced with two young, active children. This time last year Charlotte was still very much a baby. This time going into the new year she is a vibrant, energetic and fearless
20 month old.


Charlotte is the apple of her daddy's eye and I love having another girl in the house. She'll climb into bed with me in the morning while frank is getting ready for work and snuggle up close face to face like she's telling me secrets.

This year I was so proud of Charlotte because:

- she has learned so many things and amazes me with how quickly she grows and comprehends.

- she is a sweet little nurturer. From tucking her baby dolls into bed to patting our backs and nuzzling us when we pick her up, her tender heart is apparent on a daily basis.

Goals for Charlotte in 2013:

- start to instill more structure and discipline in her life. She is gracious in taking and as she turns 2 we will begin to teach her to be gracious in giving.

- learning more about our values. CBS is a total must for Charlie this year as it has been during her nursery time. The "twos" class is where Sam received truly incredible teaching. I was so amazed at what they taught these little ones and I look forward to experiencing it again.

This year in Charlotte we saw:
Love, affection, kindness, beauty, joy

Virtues I am praying for our girl:
Generosity, salvation, patience, peace.

Vision for 2013 Part One: Sweet Sam

Family vision is big on my heart as 2012 comes to a close. I'm trying to hold myself back from biting off way more I can chew with this, as everything I think about instantly turns into a "project", but I think I've got it down to wanting to focus on these key areas for 2013 to be successful, and most importantly, joyful. Of course, all of this must go with the flow of God's will, which we've well learned y now can be way different than ours, and life is much more agreeable if we just lean into it rather than fighting against it. Our Daddy always knows what's best anyhow!

Sam is a big presence in my mind right now. Obviously he and Charlotte both always are, but Sam has a particularly big year coming up. In 2013, he will start Kindergarten, finish his final year of CBS, and will get to direct his own passions a bit.

 Sam made me so proud in 2012:

• He shows consistent compassion for others 
• He accepted Jesus as his Savior last month, and hasn't forgotten this important step. 
•  He has an incredible sense of humor 
• He isn't even 4 and a half yet, but has a 2nd grade reading level.
•  He went through surgery again. This was the first he was old enough to really understand what was going on, and the first time he expressed fear, anger and pain over it. And then he graciously thanked his nurses and doctors and celebrated the fact he hopefully will never see them again!
•  He expresses such love and patience toward his sister. (most of the time). And trust me, she does everything possible to annoy him sometimes.

He has started helping with household chores with joy and obedience. He learned for the first time through being at Royal Stage with me about kids who don't have parents who love them in the right ways, and he grasped the concepts of gratefulness, generosity and grace for the first time. I love this boy.

 My 2013 Goals for Sam

• To expose him to joyful service. He has compassion, we want to teach him little actions. 
•  To grow in God's word - we've started a FABULOUS children's daily devotional. It is the sweetest time and I hope it continues! 
• To give him regular, consistent responsibilities at home. 
• To select a Kindergarten we both love, and that he will thrive at. To allow him to explore his own interests, even if that means cutting down on mine (and it will. and that's okay)

  Prayers Answered 

  I continue to pray biblical virtues over our children. It's been so fun to see answered prayer through Sam.

This year we saw: - Salvation! - Growth in grace - Love for God's Word - Courage - Kindness - Generosity - Contentment - Gratitude

This year I'm praying for: - Self-control (do any 4 year olds have this?!) - Responsibility - Honesty & integrity - Did I mention self control?

2012 Please Stay Forever!

It's been an incredible year. Do you know why? Because I have completely sucked at blogging, which means life has been way too busy and way too fun!

Here is our ministry update in glorious electronic form for all to enjoy. I plan to do a kiddo update soon.

Merry almost Christmas!


Royal Stage 2012