Not So Sweet

My children cannot have candy ever again. And when I say "children", I mean specifically Sam and when I say "never again," I mean truly, if there were a way to step into eternity and ensure no candy awaits him there either, I would. 

Sam turns psychotic when he has candy. Not hyper, not lively - PSYCHO. Quite possibly the only time I see premeditated, genuinely naughty behavior out of him is when he has candy. Sure, he has moments of outbursts, fights with his sister and other 5 year old incidents from time to time - but when Sam has candy, our faith's theology becomes vivid and real. I see a true example of how we are all born into sin and need a savior to overcome all the insane things we do when we are under the influence of lollipops and conversation hearts. And I am definitely in need of Jesus in case there are consequences to listing a 5 year old on eBay before Halloween hits . 

Sam is not allowed to have candy. I repeat - like mixing a martini for a recovering alcoholic or waving crack in front of a junkie....my child is not to have a sweet treat unless you plan to open up your home as a halfway house until he sufficiently detoxes from the corn syrup and red dye. 

However at the end of the day , I sure did have two beautiful little valentines! 

Sam just came up to me and explained he was naughty yesterday because his conversation heart said "wild child." So he is clearly absolved from responsibility. 

"And look, mommy! One of the ones I had this morning said LOL!"

"One of the ones you had this morning?! It's 6am!"

I glance over and see shreds of a conversation heart box on the living room couch. He has eaten the entire supply of hearts inside and I have no clue where he found them. 

"Sam? Where did you get this candy!"

"LOL! AH Ha Ha Ha Ha see mommy?! I'm LOLing! Because the heart said LOL AND THE HEART IS IN MY BODY! LOL AH Ha Ha Ha Ha!!!!!!" 

Never mind.