In reading something completely different and irrelevant, I finally found a visual that has captured my summer: a spiritual midway.
When you go to a carnival or fair, you undoubtedly walk down the center of the midway with various vendors advertising their goodies, voices literally shouting at you from all directions - win this teddy bear, let me guess your weight, step right up and try your luck.....it can be sort of overwhelming.
Disneyland really captured this well with one of my new favorite rides there - Toy Story Midway Mania. You sit in a car and things jump out at you - you shoot at them as frantically and furiously as you can, and then before you even have a chance to think, the car swoops you away to a completely different scene where different things come at you through your 3D glasses, and you frantically and furiously shoot them away again.
It's loads of fun, because it's adorable and over in less than five minutes.
But a spiritual midway can be much more daring, much more daunting, and represent a lot more loss if you continue to be frantic and furious.
It's been a summer of tremendous blessings, growth, fear and hurt. And yes, it is possible to be indescribably happy and peaceful while still feeling more than a bit wounded and terrified. But unfortunately due to my past and the way I am wired, I tend to jump more frequently to the latter.....which brings me back to John Piper's teaching last week.....which is helping me get through this time in the midway full of its glitz and deception - helping me to zero in on the genuine.
John Piper's 6 D's
Delight in You as the greatest treasure of my heart.
Delight in the Lord and he will give you the desires of your heart. (Psalm 37:4)
I lost a lot of what I considered to be my "greatest treasures" this summer. My church, one of my very best friends, my ability to excel at my writing jobs, a trip to New York I was hell-bent to go on...much of this loss came out of my decision to walk away - others were not my choice in the least...but in ALL circumstances I find that when I CHOOSE TO DELIGHT IN HIM, He reveals to me genuine treasures - far beyond what I would have hoped for myself....a precious family, remarkable friends, loving and constant mentors, a whole new ministry opportunity, and a never-changing Heavenly Father.
Desire to know you, be with you, and seek your kingdom above all else.
Delight in the Lord and he will give you the desires of your heart. (Psalm 37:4)
What were my desires? Spending hours in the company of an individual who could not contain her gossiping tongue, and unleashed mine plenty of times as well? Being so overworked and emotionally exhausted that I was missing out on one of the most beautiful years of my son's life? Sacrificing a lot of time and energy for something that was no longer making me happy? What a summer that would've been! Thank you, God, that you quelched it all in June. When we choose to delight in the Lord, we may lose things we thought we desired, but He is sure to replace those longings with better desires that make us healthy, wise, and peaceful.
Discernment that comes from a renewed mind that I might know your will.
But solid food is for the mature, for those who have their powers of discernment trained by constant practice to distinguish good from evil. (Hebrews 5:14)
I am working really, really hard on this. I come from a religious background filled with a whole buffet line of ideals, beliefs, superstitions and a few outright lies. I get ensnared very easily. God is lovingly reminding me daily to stop, discern, and allow myself to be renewed and remember truth, and how good it is.
Desperation because when I stop feeling my need for you I tend to wander.
Before I was afflicted I went astray, but now I keep your word. (Psalm 119:67)
My life is so cozy. An air conditioned home, plenty of food, friends, family, and facebook. Oh the facebooking. It is hard to be desperate for God sometimes. But every single time that desperation leaves me....I wander off and find myself not nearly as satisfied with life. This is when fear comes in, when panic and depression strike...but when I am holding my Father's hand, it all melts away. Awesome :)
Discipline to plan for what I discern as your will.
Look carefully then how you walk, not as unwise but as wise, making the best use of the time, because the days are evil. (Ephesians 5:15-16)
I am keeping my mouth shut, I am keeping my mouth shut, I am keeping my mouth shut. I am focusing on God, the people who matter, the people who love me, the life I love to live, and I am keeping my mouth shut.....
Diligence to do your will with all my heart.
You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your might. (Deuteronomy 6:5)
I love you so much, God. I am such a mess. Thank you for loving all of me, no matter what my state.
So if you are from my past, my present, or intend to be in my future, next time my name is mentioned in conversation, be sure to mention that Tam loves her 6 D's, and that life is exactly how it should be. Which means it's fantastic - because you can't really top "how it should be." Because we all should be trusting God <3
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