Mommyhood, With a Side of Granola

I'm not what you would consider an "earthy" sort of person. The idea of cloth diapers completely freaks me out, and I DO recycle....probably about 60% of the time. I knew when I had kids I would formula-feed, disposable-diaper, and instant-breakfast the heck out of them. And sure enough, that is what happened with Sam. He has turned out to be kind, intelligent and wonderful despite such lazy efforts on my part.

Charlotte ended up being totally different. I was not looking forward to the few days in the hospital after I delivered her, when the legion of nurses would come in and inundate me on the benefits of nursing her. Breast is best, and the rest of that coercing fest that I just was not interested in hearing.

Then I had her. Okay, let's give this a try, squirmy, screaming one. You definitely look more sturdy than your brother did on HIS birth day. So we did. And she took to it like a champ. In fact, between the time she was born and the time the lactation consultant came in to convince me to breastfeed, we had totally gotten the hang of it.


Charlie is well into her 4th month of life now, and this past week I started weaning her. We had exclusively nursed since day one, and I was really worried about how she would do. I read so much online about baby rejecting formula, growing super clingy, etc.

Well, she did great. And guess what? I am a complete mess! I've cried, felt so distant from her, want to cuddle her all the time. I am a wreck. That's when I realized just how connected nursing makes us. She still tries to root toward me, get a little snack and such, but then she realizes the restaurant has shut down and she moves on. But I haven't yet. My heart still wants to cuddle her little self with every meal, and experience that amazing emotional intimacy with her I never even expected.

It's strange to think that she is, quite possibly, our last child. And all of her 'firsts" are all of our "lasts." Bittersweet. But it is also so beautiful to see her grow. Maybe I am a little granola after all.

We Are Family

Shameless promotion of my offspring. Cannot even express all the ways I love them.

                                             Telling secrets

                                                  Eskimo Kisses

                                           Is Sam about to get punched in this picture?

                                                   Bounce!

                                          Riding his first pony at the Gourd Festival

                                          Woo! Doesn't get more awesome than a gourd festival!

                                          Christmas trees in training!

                                          Cuddling with my girl on the tractor ride :)

                                          Guess they didn't exactly want to take a pic with me...

                                            Cousins <3

                                          Charlotte's remaining fuzz blowing in the autumn breeze ;)

Streets Gone Cold - Or Maybe I'm Just Getting Old....

I've been meaning to write this blog post forever, and I apologize to the prayer and financial supporters of Royal Stage who may have been waiting to hear how it went! At the end of July, we took 11 of the Royal Stage participants to the bay area for a mini missions trip we called the Heart of Arts Blitz. It was a pretty incredible time. They danced in San Francisco and San Jose, did some public speaking, and collected money for charity:water.

It gave me a whole new perspective about where I grew up. Especially when we went door to door raising money for clean water in Africa. The response really surprised me. I would tell one of the groups of collectors - oh, go to this house, they are so and so and really nice! I had fond memories of them giving out the best Halloween candy on the block, or playing at their house as a child, etc. There were a lot of homes that held special spots in my heart.

Then I watched one by one as the people who were a collection of good memories from childhood closed their front doors in the faces of my dancers who were simply asking for 50 cents toward clean water resources in 3rd world countries. A former neighbor actually said "I can't be bothered with this."

Some people pretended to not know English. People I KNOW DO because I spoke to them decades ago. Maybe they've forgotten the language since then? ;) Anyway, it's been almost 7 years since I permanently moved away from my bay area bubble, and I was disillusioned and kind of disappointed.......at first.

Then I realized just what a beautiful area I grew up in. We met a man named Fred, just randomly as we walked through the park by the Central library. He was really itching for someone to talk to, and spent quite awhile telling us his story. We asked to pray for him, and he asked us to yes, please do so. But not with him there. He had an opposition to religion, and told us how it caused wars, broken relationships, etc.

We told him how it wasn't about religion - that we hated religion too! It is about a personal relationship with Jesus. He seemed pleasantly surprised by that, almost as if he had never heard it before. He then went on to tell us about how he was HIV positive, and how his girlfriend of many, many years had just broken up with him. He was sad and lonely, and I will never forget him.

There were probably a lot of Freds around those parts while I was growing up, obsessed with my own teenage angst, not bothering to give any of them the time of day. And many likely remain. We met at least one. I am ashamed I did not reach out and love sooner, having focused on foreign missions fields when there was one in my own backyard. I am also so grateful to have met Fred. I will never forget him.

The rest of the weekend was incredible too. We danced at a church in San Jose, and we also performed on Fisherman's Wharf in San Francisco. People sat chairs out in front of restaurants across the street from where we were dancing, and watched. The younger girls had opportunities to do some public speaking too - something many of them had not done before, including a recently adopted foster kid that was on our team with a powerful testament to God's goodness.

Anyway, here is the weekend in pictures! Heart of Arts Blitz #1 = success! Next stop, Orange County in October!

Pictures of our time in the bay area

The Fruits of the Spirit.....Forgotten.

Love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control.

Which ones do you struggle with at times? (pause as I circle all).

My birthday this year was a good example of this. In a single evening, I ceased to be loving, joyful, peaceful, patient, kind, good, gentle or self-controlled. All because of some cream cheese.

After a wonderful birthday in Sacramento, I headed down to the bay area to celebrate with my family and friends. I arranged to meet all of my hometown friends at Sushi Boat, which I knew was a risk. Last time I was there, they were less than friendly, and sure enough same thing this time.

They actually seemed annoyed that they had customers! After overcharging Elisa for part of her dinner, and being less than warm in their presentation, it was my turn to order from the menu at the dead silent restaurant. I found a roll that seemed like my Sacramento usual, and then ordered an old fall back - a California roll with cream cheese added to it.

"We can't do that." the waitress said.

"Oh add cream cheese? If there is a little upcharge that's fine, I expect that."

"No. You want cream cheese, you add whole roll."

"A whole California roll?"

"No, whole other roll."

"Wow, you're serious?"

I wasn't going to pay an extra $7.00 for cream cheese. Kind of ridiculous.

I remembered seeing in the window that they had a poster where you would get a free roll for your birthday - score! I tried to order this first. Oh wait....nope!

Waitress: "Must be two days within birthday."

Me: "Oh, we are celebrating today. My birthday was on Thursday."

Waitress: "That three days."

Me: "Yes, yes okay...."

So I order above mentioned items, sans cream cheese, but I can feel my face burning. What ever happened to the customer's always right? Why would a little chunk of cream cheese nestled between my crab and avocado be a big deal?

Then it hit me. Target. Right in the same strip of shops we were eating was a Target. Target sells groceries. Cream cheese! I refused to be in alignment with the law of Sushi Boat, for the law was stupid.

I asked if anyone wanted to go with me, which in turn caused everyone to look away or decline. Except Myriah. Dear Myriah, who is always up for a defiant adventure, and to her credit even BOUGHT THE CREAM CHEESE.

So we victoriously return with cream cheese, after confusing the Target cashier through our giggling and not needing a bag because we are going to "use it right away."

We arrive back just as the food comes, after I make my umpteenth not-so-silent comment about how I deserved cream cheese in my sushi roll for my birthday!

And there, she did it. The waitress, that is. She sets on the table with a half-smile a full roll with cream cheese in it. Complimentary. For my birthday three days past.

I awkwardly slide the Target block of cream cheese off the table and into my purse and half smile back, filled with guilt.

Just goes to show, people in the world may be nicer than they seem, and it would've been better to have been patient and kind, rather than initiate a cream cheese crusade.

I ended up looking like a total jerk.

Lesson learned.


With my "big bro" Greg - lonnnngtime bay area friend.

With two of my best friends - the one holding the cupcake was my cream cheese accomplice and financial supporter ;)

Oh dang. Sorry Sushi boat :/ We knew not what we did.

Elisa wondering why the heck there was a croquette smashed
underneath her rice bowl. You're a winner again, San Jose sushi boat.

Oh my Sam...



I know, Charlie...I think we deserve cream cheese too!

Victorious! But should've followed Galatians 5:22 instead!

I Love My Little Family :)

3 Months Old!


Talking about belly buttons

"Thank mommy for your belly button, baby Charlotte!"

He said he was praying for her :)

Never too early to start playing horsey

A Little Piece of Heaven

For about two years now, I've noticed a little side path off of the main road where our house is. I catch little glimpses of it every time I dodge the freeway when I need to drive east, and...that's pretty much every single day between swimming, church, dance, and shopping.

So of course, even though I've mentioned wanting to go exploring down there for YEARS now, it took Frank discovering that it contains a freaking bike trail before we ventured on down. He's on a bike riding kick (and hiking, and other kinds of related fitness involving sunburns and insects) right now.

The four of us walked the bike trail a couple weeks ago, and today we explored the nooks and crannies around the trail. Look what is right by our house! It's a little treasure of a hideaway!

Editor's note: If you recognize this place, please just humor me. I am expecting it to become a little sanctuary in the center of my suburban hodge podge.

We are going back tomorrow, and we're bringing swimsuits :)

Charlie, we are going exploring.

In a cove of trees.


Swimming hole!!!


Sleepy adventurer


Bigfoot sighting - a rare shot of him with his young.


Berries :)


Feeding our child a berry we are um, pretty sure is safe.

He's good :)

Bye for now :)